Monday, February 11, 2013

DEFCON: COREY, Enter Saint, Starter to Apocalypse


DEFCON: COREY is a threat status raised by our local gaming group. All is well though. I find it hilarious and plan to run with it as far and as long as I can to spread the word of truth.

Enter Saint

Saint had approached me through my blog and I took the liberty of inviting him to join the local game group. Saint was able to get some time off last Saturday and he drove to join our group to play some 40K.

Upon parking his vehicle at the shop last Saturday, Saint heard the following passage through his radio.

Turn off you engine and surrender your models.
We are the local gaming group.
We will add your biological and technical distinctiveness to our own.
Resistance to 40K is futile.


It was the intent to play a 1 versus 1 starter game with Saint so he could get a hang of the rules, but it turned out to be much more. He had thoughts of what kind of units to field, but I told him to not worry and bring a good 1500 point list. He did just that and brought a good 1500 point list full of all kinds of Ork goodness.

I consider Ork goodness in the form of what models he had. He had some, Gretchin, Boyz, a truck, Lootas, a flyer, a loba, Tank Bustas. I think he had a good mind set, bring em, roll the dice, go for broke, and hope for 5's.

(Spoilers Start)

He played mostly against Screech with some of his unit near my units. Screech is slightly better with rules so I think it was a bonus and he held his side quite well having his boyz hold an objective and launch assaults against the Chaos units. I think he got a good feel how some Ork units can work and not work as their was a variable cornucopia of enemy units.

(Spoilers End)

I brought some of my own terrain and also noticed there was some nice ruined buildings to use as well. We grabbed a table and started making a table full of good terrain. This is when it all happened.


Rogue Trader asked what we were up to and somehow he got added into the game. Now we had a 2 versus 1 game. I think Rogue Trader wanted to get a game started as Kushial was quietly moving about aimlessly, Masta Cheef was waiting unproductively for Screech who was all blah, blah, blah and stuff. I think 2 versus 1 would leave someone without an opponent so Kushial being the master of dropping an entire company of marines on the fly joined the game. The 2 versus 1 game was now 3 versus 1 and the 6 by 4 table mutated to a 12 by 4 table. Masta Cheef with an army ready to deploy and ready for a game was still waiting for Screech, lol. Masta Cheef joined the fray making the game 4 versus 1 along with Screech who finally realized Saturday was for gaming and took Kushial's side making the game 4 versus 2. The little 1 versus 1 starter game had mutated into a minor apocalypse game.

Breakdown of armies and points.

Saint - Orks - 1500 Points
Masta Cheef - Storm Wardens (Marines) - 1500 Points
Hive Angel - Blood Angels - 2000 Points
Rogue Trader - Dark Eldar - 2000 Points

Screech - Thousand Sons of Bitches - 1500 Points
Kushial - Bucket of Marines Green Army Men style * - 5500 Points

* Not really in a bucket and not really green army men. However if they were in said bucket, the models would empty from their bucket transport hitting the table and snap to attention.

Here is a few shots of the deployment

Top: Ork and Bottom: Thousand Sons

Top: Dark Eldar and Marines and Bottom: Kushial's Marines

Damn! Look at those sweet trenches!

Top: Blood Angels and others and Bottom: More of Kushial's Marines

The game was too large for a battle report. However I cannot forgo the telling of the highlights of some hilarious climatic,  pure nonsense, blasphemous details.

Here goes ...

February Ninth Two Thousand Thirteen, a day which shall live in "Ah Shit".

"First Turn, Drop Pod Assault!"

* Hive Angel and his coalition believe they deployed well and set to invade Kushial's right flank from behind. Kushial had first turn which he turned around for a moment and announces "Drop Pod Assault" with luxurios "Got you" grin. Bye bye Land Raider, the Sterguard inside were not hurt.
* Masta Cheef was most displeased with the placement of his Predator behind his Razorback in the far corner which became immobilized on the first turn.
* Kushial manages to immobilize many Dark Eldar vehicles on multiple accounts littering the field with Dark Eldar gun platforms.
* Masta Cheef succeeded in creating a Land Raider versus Land Raider parking lot duel.
* Blood Angel Sterguard marines were witnessed providing cover fire for a gretchin mob moving to seize an objective.
* Saint releases the only flyer from the Orks edge to run amok.
* Kushial's lightning claw terminator squad gets assaulted by an Ork dreadnought. The Terminators go slice slice while the Ork dreadnought goes snippy snippy. Terminators do die.
* The middle section terrain between the trenches had an objective and by turn three it was swelling with marines and Dark Eldar. Plus an Ork dreadnaught. :)
* Kushial teleports in eleven Terminators with thunder hammer and shields which survive a stupid amount of firepower. The coalition sicks the Death Company accompanied by Lemartes upon them who have a feeding frenzy.
* Saint's Killer Kans prevail in their assault against Chaos and manage to remove a hull point from their Land Rainder. Chaos in return recognizes their bravery and spares the ork's life by removing the close combat weapon. Screech the Chaos god placed a weapon destroyed chip upon the Killer Kan thereby granting the Ork the Choas gift of cookie.
* Sounds effects were made, but probably only Masta Cheef knows the whispers of Chaos.

* There was way more details than I can remember and some I missed out on.

Best of all ...

*Neverness stopped by and sad to say missed the chance to take part in this glorious game. Without worry or shame, he donned his Ork cap and summoned a pizza and all was well.

The game ended at the end of turn 3 with some reserve units not yet deployed. Thanks a lot Kushial and your Warlord -1 to opponents reserves, lol. Saint had to leave, but I believe he left having a good game with a bunch of lunatics. I rolled for my Warlord trait in turn 2 as I forgot and received a trait to redeploy, FAIL. To say the most, this was fun. To say more, we can do this again easy and we should. Keep the game fair and fun and everyone will have a blast. Just don't blow someone's Land Raider to smithereens on the first turn when he is out getting a soda, lol. 

Till next time.


  1. Definitely had a blast! Was almost overwhelmed by the size of the game, but definitely learned a lot. Hopefully will make it out again sometime.

  2. Ah, I see. So 'Saint' was the ork player. Cool, I like to have faces to match names. I'll post up my photos Thursday after i sort thru them all.

  3. ...surely my Little Caesars pizza wasn't truly the highlight of your night?! LOL!

    Fun write-up man, I enjoyed reading this!

  4. It WAS a lot of fun. I don't get to deploy that many of my guys that often and I got to field a pretty good mix of units as well. It's the only time in several years that I've fielded 3 full squads of scouts I know which I though was a nice homage to Cheef. And best of all, we all learned that 6 thunderhammer space marines are the answer to Cheef's landraider parking lot.

    As to losing landraiders while you're out of the building .... as your blog post said of Screech ... Saturday night is for gaming.


  5. I totally disagree. Saturday night gaming is for gaming, BS storytelling, friends, and most importantly... food. And I, too, had a raider full of wyches blown out from under me while waiting far too long for some good, but not great pretzles. Thanks to Cheef for rolling as badly on that as I would have.

    1. Hey! I rolled boxcars for flicker field saves on that ravager at least!

  6. Wait a minute .... gaming .. BS storytelling .. friends .. food ... trying to figure out where Screech fits in. LOL

    1. He was down the other end of the table, beating on the 'new guy' in true cheeseball fashion, lol!

    2. What good is a game without a red headed step child whipping boy? :)

  7. Thanks everyone. I strive to make posts like this entertaining and full of lolz.